The "little thing" is when people I know feel the need to announce to the world (usually via Facebook status or Twitter) that they are happy to be kid-free and can't believe all the people they know that are having babies and how far from ready they are to have kids and how bogged down all the people they know that have kids are and how they are too busy being awesome or (self) important or educated to have children (said with an exasperated sigh). The thing that got under my skin is: how exactly do they think that their friends that ARE married and that DO have children are supposed to take that?? Are they saying it because they really think that they are better than their friends that have children or are they trying to convince themselves of that or possibly a mix thereof? I don't know, and like I said, I tried to really figure out what it was that bothered me about it, other than it being blatantly rude.
I am completely happy where I am right now and love being a mom. I didn't know if it was something I'd ever get to experience or not, so I am taking in each day for what it is and with a large amount of appreciation. I also don't feel pressure to have a career right now like some of my other friends because I always know that when this season of my life (i.e., mothering small children) is over, I will have the whole rest of my life to get involved with a career. So, I don't think it is an insecurity on my part that was making me bothered by these flippant statements of superiority over people in my position.
But then I read the passage that I mentioned above and I realized why it had bothered me. It bothered me because their remarks somehow trivialized something that was so amazingly transformative in my life. Something that has changed every fiber of my being for the better and something that I cherish with all my heart: that moment of rebirth that a mother experiences the very first time that her baby looks at her and she knows that nothing will ever be the same and that is OK because right now all that matters is bundled up in her arms. When you know what that feels like because you have felt it for yourself, you realize how amazingly precious it is and also that you will never be able to describe that feeling to someone who has never felt it. THAT is why their comments bothered me. But I have learned to let it just roll off my back because I realized that I have been lucky enough to KNOW what that feeling is like and I wouldn't trade it for any amount of money or freedom or anything in the world. And so, I have found my clarity.
Stinkerdoodle Rex, 3 days old
The quote from guest blogger Nat the Fat Rat on The Daybook blog: "and in those few seconds here and there when his eyes would focus and he could see me, it was then that i could see me too. maybe for the first time, or maybe just more clearly. but there he was, there i was, and there we were. when i think back to the day he was born, that is what i remember most."
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